My debts are making me ill

My debts are making me ill
28 August 2011

IT HAS been a month since my last article and the cracks are definitely starting to show. I have been suffering from severe panic attacks, have been diagnosed with an ulcer and had to spend a couple of days in hospital.

Quite simply, I’m no longer coping and not a day goes by where I don’t regret what I’ve done and wish I could find a solution.

I am no closer to reaching a settlement with any of the banks I owe money too, the threats are unrelenting and my search from employment continues. My latest challenge is to find the not insubstantial sum of AED 60,000 ($16,337) to settle my children’s school fees for last year so they can return to school in September. How I wish I still had that ‘just in case’ money.

Good advice

A few days ago I stumbled across an article on debt online. The article offered advice on how to get out of – and stay out of – debt. It didn’t offer the ‘miracle cure’ which, if I am honest, is what I was hoping for, but I did find one piece of advice that hit home: never lend money to somebody to get out of debt as, by doing this, you are actually enabling them to continue the cycle.

This is so true and after thinking about this I realise that not only did I enable my mother to continue spending by paying off her debt all those years ago, but I have enabled myself to continue spending by borrowing vast amounts.

Every time I applied for a loan or a credit card I would make a deal with myself that if the loan was granted or that shiny new credit card arrived in the post I would use the money to consolidate my debt rather than spend it. That never happened and I hate myself for not being a stronger, more disciplined person.

Lessons learnt

Having said all that I pray every night for a Good Samaritan to come forward and lend me the money I need to consolidate my debt. That way I would have the ability to negotiate with the banks to settle my debt and get my life back on track.

I spend my days bargaining with myself and the divine powers that be that if this were to happen, I would never apply for a credit card or loan again and would seek help for my addiction.

I believe that I have the power to do this. I am so tired of living the life I am leading and long for the day that I’m not stressed, worried or scared about my financial situation. Any bright ideas?

Pic credit: photostock/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Have you been in a similar situation to ‘In Debt in Dubai’? What’s your advice to her?

Comments

  • bobcat
    bobcat
    2011-08-28T22:17:39

    Dear In Debt,

    I have almost been where you are, but managed to pull myself together before things spiralled out of control. I was able to consolidate my debts to a large extent. I understand that consolidation might not be an option for you. What is important now is for you to have a clear mind, you need to be at peace before you even try and find another job. With Ramadan getting over soon, recruitment in most firms should kick in soon. You need to be mentally and physically ready for that. Don't let the collection agencies intimidate you. 

    I read that your partner or your family are not aware of your situation, maybe that's where you should start. You can't change what has happened, but you need help and support, and a shoulder now more than anything else. As difficult as it might be that's where you should start. Explain your situation to them, ask for their help and support.

    Will keep you in my prayers.

    B.

     

     

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