My worse fear became reality

My worse fear became reality
23 November 2011

A LITTLE over two weeks ago one of my worst fears became a reality when my significant other found out about the financial monster that I have created.

As much as I would like to say that I came clean of my own accord, I can’t. I was under the misguided impression that I could fix the mess I created without anyone ever finding out about it.

I spent many years covering my tracks, hiding credit cards and bank statements and lying about everything money related. My web of lies and deceit finally caught up with me and I got found out.

Rock bottom

I won’t bore you with the gruesome details, but I will tell you that the last few weeks have been incredibly difficult. I feel as though I have truly reached rock bottom and I don’t think things could get any worse.

Not only am I now dealing with the financial mess I have created but also, with the likelihood that my relationship of 20-plus years is over and with that fact that I have severely compromised my family’s financial security.

Finally, I have come to realise the full extent of what I have done. Over time, I will be able to repay my debt but I doubt that I will ever be able repair the damage I have done.

Brighter note

On a brighter note, I have been shortlisted for a great job. It won’t pay nearly as much as what I was earning in my last position but, at least, I will be working and most importantly, earning again.

Working again also means that I will be able to have something concrete to offer the banks and I am hoping that they will be more prepared to negotiate with me even though I am earning less money.

With cashy’s help, I’ve also had good news from one of major creditors and am meeting with them in the next few days to try and work out a way forward.

Despite feeling very guilty, stressed and sad about the current state of affairs I am also feeling an enormous sense of relief that the truth is out. While I am still facing a huge mountain of debt I am no longer trapped in a web of lies and deceit and I am starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

My resolve to fix the mess I have created is stronger than ever. Resolution means that I may just be able to redeem myself a little.

Pic credit: Graeme Weatherston/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Comments

  • Uzma
    Uzma
    2011-11-23T10:07:21

    Congratulations on the new job and kudos for garnering the courage to face your biggest fears head on. More power to you!

  • anya
    anya
    2011-12-04T12:11:42

    Hope someone can give me an advised i dont have any peace of mind due to my debts:(

  • jen
    jen
    2011-12-05T16:47:06

    Thanks for your comment, Anya. Unfortunately, we can't fix people's debt problems, but we can help you to make your own decisions based on information and the cashy community sharing their stories. We're also in the process of forming a cashy debt support group, which could help. Would you be interested in joining?

  • ann
    ann
    2012-02-13T23:57:07

    hi! i just recently signed up and am willing to join in your debt support group. :)

  • nima
    nima
    2012-02-14T07:55:50

    Hi Ann, great that you are dealing with this - wanting to manage it rather than drown in it. To kick start your process, why don't you have a money makeover? If interested, email editor@cashy.me. It's a great way to get your house in order and have someone who's not emotionally involved in your financial/ life issues to look at where you're at, and what you need to focus on.  Wishing you the best of luck - debt is quite an issue to tackle.

  • anya
    anya
    2011-12-05T23:21:28

    ill be interested:D

  • jen
    jen
    2011-12-05T23:23:20

    Great stuff, we'll keep you posted!

  • HAH
    HAH
    2012-04-04T13:59:21

    Hello There! I joined Cashy today and i was checking up the comments. It would be great if I can join your group. I suffer from a huge amount lof Debt in Dubai and I am willing to get some good advise on how can I start managing my Debt.

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